Unexpected Christmas Kindness

TW: mention in passing of violence towards a dog, dog survives. This year, even though I’m not celebrating Christmas as such I decided to send Christmas cards to our immediate and opposite neighbours. Over the past year I’ve said hello to these people, had a couple of conversations with them but nothing more. It’s beenContinue reading “Unexpected Christmas Kindness”

Autistic Burnout: A Poem

I’m burnt out and I have nothing left to give. My family is burnt out, my friends too. The people I rely on. “Check in on your friends!” the mental health campaigns says, “Talk to them!” But what are they supposed to do? We’re all pouring from empty cups. I cannot thrive, I wouldn’t evenContinue reading “Autistic Burnout: A Poem”

Support: 1

Recently I had an assessment for SAANS (Sheffield Adult Autism and Neurodevelopmental Service) it was over the phone and lasted around an hour. This came about because I had previously been referred to IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies) but had been told on my phone assessment that the service wasn’t suitable to for meContinue reading “Support: 1”

Unmasking: 1

During lockdown I’ve been enjoying working on recognising and taking down my masking techniques that I’ve developed over many years of mimicry and learnt social cues. This has been both liberating and nerve wracking. I felt a similar feeling when I was first diagnosed at 21. I suddenly had this thing that could explain myContinue reading “Unmasking: 1”

School years: Infant & Juniors

TW: Bullying, physical violence. I grew up in rural Derbyshire in the UK. I lived on large plot of land just outside a small village, with few neighbours. As a child in mainstream infant (5-7 years) and junior (7-11 years) education, I was outwardly quiet, considerate and trusting. I constantly had disruptive children placed nextContinue reading “School years: Infant & Juniors”

Going into hospital: 2

I wrote a post about preparing to go into hospital for major bowel surgery. I’ve now been home a week, and have a bit of energy to look back at my experience. I was the second person to have surgery that day so luckily I didn’t have a long wait. I was also given myContinue reading “Going into hospital: 2”

Neurodiverse Office Communication Guide

This is the document that I mentioned in the previous blog post, as I said it’s not perfect or official but hopefully it’s a useful tool to subtly bring attention to our differences. After all, being fair and inclusive is not about everyone getting the same support, it’s about them getting the support they needContinue reading “Neurodiverse Office Communication Guide”

Let ME tell YOU how you want to be communicated with..

At a previous job of mine I was constantly gaslit into questioning my own behaviours, tone and communication. In the first incident, I raised concerns about the way an area manager spoke to me and the task she had assigned. ‘Investigations’ were made and it was decided that it was my interpretation of the situationContinue reading “Let ME tell YOU how you want to be communicated with..”

A letter to myself

When I reached 30 I wrote a long letter back to my younger self (the initial idea of this blog), in the vein of ‘what would your older self say to your younger self?’ It’s a really personal document but I’ll share some excerpts of it below. Whenever I’m feeling anxious or sad (as I’mContinue reading “A letter to myself”

I like board games and I cannot lie

Social interaction with set of rules: Usually playing a board game requires more than 1 person and thus requires an element of social interaction. For me it feels like a safe setting because boardgames have rules that get explained and adhered to. Conversation is constructed about the game, and even though strategies and deception areContinue reading “I like board games and I cannot lie”

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